Monday, November 24, 2008

I Stole This Idea From Cullen Bunn

And there's not a DAMNED (see what I did there?) thing he can do about it.

In my 36 years I have...
  • Been nearly buried alive in a rockslide.
  • Won a Commodore 64 in an essay contest. That's computing power, baby!
  • Become an Eagle Scout.
  • Taught Archery.
  • Been a concert T-Shirt salesman.
  • Driven to a city 200 miles away because I was bored and had never been there.
  • Met Glen Danzig---at a science fiction convention (I also met The Iron Shiek there).
  • Helped create an award-winning mock flyer.
  • Co-created an entire web site for a completely ficticious rock band.
  • Become a Discordian Pope (not really much of an accomplishment, since everyone is a Discordian Pope, but most people don't know it so I think it should count).
  • Seen George Carlin perform live.
  • Established beyond a shadow of a doubt that I should never be alowed to drink Rumplemintz.
  • Seen Johnny Cash perform live.
  • Seen a 3-D porno on the big screen, which is not nearly as cool as you might think.
  • Watched "Dancin' Outlaw" so many times I've probably got it memorized.
  • Lived with a stripper.
  • Graduated from Transylvania University with a degree in Fucking Useless.
  • Had a beer with Larry Elmore.
  • Managed a comic book store.
  • Driven a cab.
  • Gotten drunk with some of the guys from Ghoultown.
  • Created a Role-Playing game (actually more than one, but only QAGS was ever published).
  • Written the first book where Robert Kirkman's work was ever published. Of course, we published his artwork, not his writing. Keen business decisions like this are why Kirkman's the golden boy of comics and we're languishing in obscurity.
  • Co-Founded a game company that's survived tax troubles, having thousands of dollars stolen from it by a a jackass, and the virtual collapse of the industry.
  • Written, co-written, or contributed writing to a bunch of game books (but I hope to one day move into something respectable--like porn or comics). Edited, done layout, drawn maps, and otherwise contributed to even more.
  • Partied with Dr. Demento--on multiple occasions.
  • Wandered around Pulaski County, Kentucky doing a photoshoot of people with lots of guns...on the same day the Sheriff was assassinated. I suspect we were the subject of lots of good gossip in the following weeks.
  • Taken a road trip to Vegas.
  • Gotten a Nebula-Award Winning author drunk (and, we think, laid).
  • Stood on the corner in Winslow Arizona.
  • Interviewed Dr. Demento, Shannon "Too Much Coffee Man" Wheeler, the guy who writes Deep Fried, and probably some other people I'm not thinking of right now.
  • Given Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed a ride from the movies to their hotel--without realizing who they were until they were walking into the hotel.
  • Beaten Steve Jackson at his own game (live action TOON).
  • Shaken hands with Bruce Campbell.
  • Received (on behalf of Hex Games) a Certificate of Achievement by a drunken man in a kilt during a very solemn ceremony that took place in a hotel bathroom at 2 in the morning.
  • Participated in (and, in fact, helped create) bogus mystical rituals.
  • Had an article I wrote linked from Penny Arcade, which meant it got like a zillion hits.
  • Signed autographs--that's always kinda weird.
  • Been Gaming Guest of Honor at two sci-fi conventions.
  • Somehow accquired the nickname "Chainsaw."
  • Carpooled with a hitman who, as it turns out, had done a hit on the family of a girl I went to college with (to my credit, I didn't know this at the time).
  • Probably been an acessory to more crimes than I want to think about.
  • Hung out backstage with members of Jackson Browne's band.
  • Been rumored on the internet to have received a Cease and Desist Order from 20th Century Fox and/or Mutant Enemy Productions (or at least a nasty letter from Joss Whedon). These rumors are false.
  • Actually received a C & D from the Game Manufacturer's Assocation, which isn't nearly as cool.
  • Written a complete RPG in 24 hours.
  • Created a Discordian Holiday (St Zevon's Day, January 24, when people are encouraged to listen to Warren Zevon, enjoy a sandwich, and (mooon phase permitting) turn into a werewolf and terrorize London).
  • Had a couple of photoshop pieces published on Cracked.com.
  • Moved back to the place I hated growing up and gotten a day job. Hopefully life will get interesting again someday...
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