Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The War On [Insert Holiday Here]

As anyone who watches Fox News (or--more likely if you're reading this--The Daily Show's coverage of Fox News) knows, a WAR ON CHRISTMAS has been raging for the past several years. This all-out attack on Christian values mainly involves acknowledging that not every single person is a Christian, but if you've got more than five friends on Facebook, you probably know that there's another more sinister battle going on: the Godless Heathens (TM) are abbreviating the word "Christmas" as "Xmas." I don't think I have to tell you that there are few things more offensive than replacing the word "Christ" with the English transliteration of the Greek letter "Chi" (which, incidentally, has been used by Christians to represent Christ for hundreds of years).

I think it's awfully unfair that only Christians get to play the part of victim in a made-up war against their beliefs. Call me a cultural relativist, but I think people of other faiths should also be allowed to get their persecution complex on. So far, it looks like only the Jews have joined in on the fun:

The Liberal Elitist (TM) in me can't help but think that the non-Abrahamic faiths should also be represented. So I decided to help.

I should probably explain that last one. I thought the holiday was something like "Grumenthar's Ascension" and was going to do a "Keep the Groo in Grumenthar's Ascension" pic featuring the Groosalug. Turns out I got the name wrong, but a "Gurn" is basically a funny face, which inevitably leads to the Angel Dance. I suspect there are probably stills from the scene in which Boreanaz's expression is more properly a by-the-book gurn, but unfortunately Google Images didn't turn up too many stills from the scene. So you might want to pretend that Angel looks slightly goofier to get the full effect.
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