Friday, October 18, 2013

Bad Movie Endurance Test 4: Idol of Evil: Hell is Forever

Idol of Evil: Hell is Forever isn't so much a horror movie as a low-impact Indiana Jones wannabe without the exotic locations, exciting action, and Nazis. Except for some truly awful fight choreography and bad special effects at the end, there's a pretty solid 80s made-for-TV movie level of film making and acting here.

The main character is a mythology expert who gets recruited to investigate what happened to an archaeologist who's gone missing while on a super secret government mission. The guy turns out to be the lead character's former mentor, but the two haven't spoken to one another in a while because of a complex web of character relationships that are later revealed even though nobody cares. He's joined by mentor guy's hot (by British standards) young assistant, who's also tied up in the soap opera of relationships, but we still don't care.

Anyway, turns out missing guy was looking for an artifact called the Eye of Kali. You'd think that would have something to do with the Hindu goddess Kali, but you'd be wrong. It was made by Satan by some ancient king who Eye of Vecna-ed it into his head and...I don't know...ruled like an evil king or something. Apparently if you find the king's skull and  put the eye in it, you'll get phenomenal cosmic power or something (represented by a green filter over the camera lens).

Fun fact: Despite having the word "idol" in the title, there's  no actual idol in this movie.

After an hour or so of the two heroes getting then losing the artifacts numerous times in dull action scenes and getting capture dozens of times, they get captured one final time and we discover the movie has [Robot Chicken M. Night  voice] WHAT A TWIST! Despite still not caring, we're then treated to a much-to-long and incredibly dumb final unexciting climax filled with terrible special effects. Afterwards, in a display of  balls that would  make  G. Gordon Liddy proud, they actually set up a sequel. I'm assuming it didn't get made.

Takeaway: Bad, but in a completely forgettable way.
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