Thursday, October 27, 2011

Oakland Police Steal Protester's McRib!

First off, I should probably ease your mind a bit: The Oakland police didn't really steal anyone's heat-lamped chunk of slightly-higher-than-dogfood quality pork. That would unforgivable.

What the Oakland police did (aside from befriending adorable kitty-cats) was fire tear gas, flash bang grenades, and rubber bullets at peaceful protesters. During the fray, one filthy hippie--a former Marine named Scott Olsen, who had served two tours of duty in Iraq--was hit in the head with one of these weapons, suffering a fractured skull and brain swelling. He is currently in the hospital in fair condition. Blogger Aaron Bady was there when the fun started, so check out his blog if you'd like to see some pictures of the crazed, out-of-control behavior that set off the confrontation.

Also in McRib-related news, a scientist hired by the Koch brothers has conceded that global warming does, in fact, exist. Of course, you probably already heard that given that the story has received a total of nearly 30 seconds of coverage on cable news. Seriously, how many times can they keep repeating the same story like that.

Anyway, keep in mind that the McRib will only be around for a limited time.