Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye West Sexually Assaults Seth Green

Rapper Kanye West was forcibly removed from a Cartoon Network studio earlier today after he allegedly molested actor Seth Green during a taping of Robot Chicken. "We'd invited Kanye to guest as the voice of Rubic the Amazing Cube on an episode we were working on," said Matthew Senreich, the show's co-creator. "Everything was going pretty well and all of a sudden the guy just went crazy and started doing stuff to Seth."

"I wasn't really phased when he whipped his junk out during the taping," said a shaken Green. "I mean, I've worked with Marsters, so I'm used to that kind of thing." Green is referring to fellow Buffy the Vampire Slayer star James Marsters, whose penis-based "let me show you Spike's spike" routine was a consistent hit with the show's cast and crew. "Then I got little nervous when he started walking towards me saying 'it's gonna get you,'" continued Green. "When he started trying to rub his junk all over me, that's when I called security."

Today's incident was not the first time West has caused an awkward situation for a star of the Austin Powers movie series. Just yesterday, he confused and embarrassed Beyonce Knowles at the MTV Awards with his interruption of Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. Series star Mike Myers was similarly flabbergasted in 2005 when Kanye speculated about then-President George W. Bush's racism at a benefit for victims of Hurricane Katrina. Less publicized was West's outburst at UCLA's graduation ceremony last May. In the middle of Verne Troyer's commencement speech, West wrestled the microphone away to deliver a lengthy diatribe on the merits of midget wrestling.

The purpose of West's bizarre public outbursts so far remains unknown. It is likewise unclear why West's behaviour seems to be targeted at members of the Austin Powers cast. Given the increasing frequency of West's antics, other actors who appeared in the movies are preparing for the eventuality of 'West situation.' "Just let that little fucker try something with me," said Robert Wagner, who played Dr. Evil's henchman Number Two in all three Powers films. "I'll teach him why you don't fuck with Jonathan Hart."

It is currently unclear whether or not Mr. Green will be pressing charges. When asked about the incident, West's publicist and agent refused to comment.

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